“Service does not happen by accident,” a wise man once said. I have pondered on that simple statement and how it applies to me. As I pondered, I was reminded of a recent incident that has troubled me because I did not handle it well at the time and have wondered how I might have done better.
I was entering Smith’s grocery store to pick up a prescription. It was after work, and I was anxious to complete my errand and get home. It was cold and dark, and the parking lot was slushy. Just as I walked in the door, my attention was drawn to a child who was crying and fussing. I looked up to see a mother slinging the whining child onto her back. The boy, who was about four years old, did not have any shoes on, and he was obviously unhappy about having to go outside in the cold. Using one hand the support the boy on her back, she reached back with her other hand and began to drag the shopping cart behind her. Her expression was resolute as she began to trudge towards the door.
All of this occurred in a matter of a couple of seconds. The little drama caught me by surprise. I stopped and watched the mother start to pull the cart towards the door. In that instant, the thought came to me that I should help her. So far so good – I saw a person in distress and I thought I should help. But then I started to analyze the situation.
I looked at the cart, which was not overly full, and I wondered why she didn’t just set the kid in the cart. I looked at the boy’s feet and wondered where his shoes were and why he would be barefoot on such a cold night. I saw the cart starting to roll, and I wondered if the woman had the strength to pull it the whole way.
I considered whether I should offer to push the cart or carry the child. If I offered to push the cart, would the woman think I was trying to steal her groceries? If I offered to carry the child, would she think I was a kidnapper? If I took the child, would he be afraid of a stranger and make a big scene?
Paralyzed by all of this analysis, I watched the woman pull the cart through the doors and out into the cold. I decided that she was going to make it on her own and didn’t need my help, so I turned to proceed into the store. But then the thought came again that I should help. I stopped again and turned around. By now the woman, the boy, and the cart had disappeared into the dark parking lot. I figured they were far enough along that I wouldn’t be able to catch up with them, so again I dropped the thought and headed to the pharmacy to complete my business and go home.
As I rehearse this incident in my memory, I recognize that my talent to analyze and think before I act is counterproductive in a situation that requires immediate and spontaneous reaction. I know many who would have responded instantly to the situation without analyzing exactly how they should help or how the offer to help would be received. They would have just jumped in and figured out the details as they went along.
My talent is not spontaneity. I believe, however, that I can develop that talent. The key for me to be more spontaneous goes back to the statement: “Service does not happen by accident.” I need to be prepared to be spontaneous. It is a fascinating paradox. The definition of spontaneous is to do something without forethought. Yet because of who I am, I have to plan to be spontaneous.
I will share a secret about being me that is not particularly attractive but is nonetheless the truth. In a spontaneous social situation, such as getting on a bus, entering a building, crossing the street, standing in line at the checkout stand, crossing a crowded room, and a million other places where I encounter strangers, people are not people to me, they are obstacles. I am not oblivious to people. In fact, I am very much aware of my surroundings - but not in a personal way. My objective in these situations is to get to my destination and accomplish my goal without annoying anyone. It is a game. How can I pass unnoticed through a mass of randomly moving bodies without bumping, jostling or startling the objects that stand between me and my goal? It is not a Jedi mind trick. I just assume that others do not want to be bothered as they go about their business anymore than I want to be interrupted in arriving at my destination.
As a result, however, I miss many opportunities for spontaneous service. The objects I so carefully avoid are humans, at least a few of which could use a friendly greeting, a warm smile, or just an acknowledgment of their existence. I am surrounded by opportunities to serve and lift and help, even in tiny ways, and I miss them constantly.
Instead of being focused solely on my task and goal, which is a vital talent in the work I do, I need to be open to the people around me when I am in a social situation. I have to think in advance that I might encounter someone who needs help or a greeting or even just a friendly smile as I move among people. Then I need to practice this new behavior until it becomes automatic. Just like any other talent, the talent of service must be practiced. I may have the greatest musical ear in the world and phenomenal potential to play the violin like Itzhak Perlman. But if I never pick up the violin, never take a lesson, and never practice, my talent is useless and will eventually disappear.
The ability to serve is a gift. God gives gifts when we ask Him. He will not, however, give a gift to one whom he knows will not enlarge it through practice. Opportunities to serve are also gifts, but they are also invitations to practice. With daily practice, I can get better at anything, whether it is writing, or music, or service. Clear writing, beautiful music, and gracious service are not accidents.
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