3 Nephi 11:29

For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another.

Contention is more than an event, it is a spirit or attitude. If we let ourselves be drawn into one contentious situation, that spirit will soon spread to other parts of our lives. When we are drawn into contention, we focus on being right rather than being humble and teachable. The Lord cannot work with us in a state of pride.

3 Nephi 11:22

And again the Lord called others, and said unto them likewise; and he gave unto them power to baptize. And he said unto them: On this wise shall ye baptize; and there shall be no disputations among you.

The Master wants his people to be unified. That does not mean we become robots. It means we learn from each other in humility and meekness. We do not contend for our opinion with hot emotions. Our discussions and councils are not about winning and losing but about coming to consensus as we are led by the Holy Spirit. This is how we avoid disputations.

Alma 22:10

And Aaron said unto him: Yea, he is that Great Spirit, and he created all things both in heaven and in earth. Believest thou this?

Aaron knew the true nature of God, but rather than argue the technicality of whether God is a spirit, he chose to let the little detail slide in order to capitalize on the king's willingness to accept the concept of God. When we look for points of contention, we can always find them. But when we look for areas of agreement, we can be agreeable as we teach important principles. We can always sharpen the fine points later.